Five weeks into working outside the home, and I'm realizing something has to change.
I've shared a little about how difficult this transition has been for me.
After 27 years as a stay-at-home mom, going back to work has been a HUGE adjustment.
And it's not that I don't enjoy working. I really do! I love the families I'm helping, I love the kids I get to work with, and I'm thankful for the opportunity to bring in some extra income.
But trying to figure out how to do all of that while still doing everything I've always done at home?
That's a whole different story!
I'm still trying to manage the house, keep up with laundry, plan meals, grocery shop, clean, make sure the girls have what they need, run several businesses, answer emails, book events, and somehow find time to work on my blog and website.
Oh, and sleep would probably be a good idea, too. 
I'm five weeks into this new routine, and I still haven't figured out how to make it all work.
Something Has to Give
When I first shared that I was going back to work and struggling with the transition, someone told me something that has stuck with me.
She said that eventually, something would have to give. I couldn't keep doing everything exactly the way I had before.
And she said that the thing that would probably suffer the most was me.
At the time, I knew she was probably right.
But five weeks later?
I can see it. And I can feel it.
My Biggest Struggle Right Now? Food!
Of all the things I expected to struggle with, I didn't think eating would be at the top of the list.
But here we are!
I've spent the last year and a half working hard on my health and fitness journey. I've learned so much about strength training, nutrition, hormones, and taking better care of my body.
And I KNOW how important food is to my progress.
But knowing what I need to do and actually having the time, energy, and appetite to do it are two very different things.
Most weeks, I'm falling more than 3,000 calories short of my weekly nutrition goal.
One week, I was over 8,000 calories short!
Yes, you read that right.
And my trainer, who also happens to be my son, was NOT happy with me.
But the truth is, I'm not intentionally trying to eat less.
I'm just not hungry much of the time.
I've been dealing with nausea, and when I do have a little time between tutoring sessions, driving, and everything else, eating isn't always what comes to mind.
By the time dinner rolls around, I realize I haven't eaten nearly enough throughout the day.
And that's becoming a problem.
You Would Think the Weight Would Be Falling Off...
Here's the frustrating part.
You would think with how little I've been eating, the stress, and how busy I've been, the weight would just be melting off.
Nope!
Not even close.
And as someone navigating perimenopause, that can be incredibly frustrating.
I know weight loss is more complicated than simply eating less. Hormones, sleep, stress, activity, and how consistently I'm fueling my body all play a role in how I feel and how my body responds.
But right now, I'm not even focused on trying to eat less.
I'm trying to figure out how to eat ENOUGH.
Enough to support my workouts.
Enough to have energy for these long days.
Enough to nourish my body instead of running on empty.
Because feeling exhausted, nauseous, and under-fueled is not helping me get through this already challenging season.
So Today, I'm Making Some Changes
Sunday is usually my day to catch up on everything I didn't get done during the week.
Laundry, cleaning, meal prepping, lesson planning, emails, and all the other things that somehow pile up when you're gone most of the day.
But today, while prepping dinners for the family, I decided I needed to start prepping food for myself, too.
Imagine that!
I've always been good about making sure everyone else has something to eat.
Now I need to give myself that same attention.
Here's what I'm trying this week:
Breakfasts I can heat and take with me.
I'm preparing some easy breakfasts that I can warm up before leaving and eat on my way to tutoring.
Because sitting down to a nice breakfast before work just isn't realistic for me right now.
Protein shakes for my work bag.
I ordered some of the shelf-stable high-protein shakes I like.
I don't normally buy them very often because they're expensive, and I try to make most of our food from scratch.
But right now, convenience is worth something.
If having a shake in my bag means I actually get some nutrition during a busy day instead of skipping another meal, then it's worth budgeting for.
High-protein muffins.
I'm also making some high-protein muffins.
Yes, they have more carbs than some of my other breakfast choices.
And you know what? That's okay!
They're easy to grab, easy to eat in the car, and they taste good.
Right now, I'm more concerned about consistently eating and getting the nutrition my body needs than making every single food choice perfect.
Fruit, vegetables, and nuts.
I'm portioning out some fresh fruit to go with breakfast, along with veggies and nuts that I can grab for lunch or snacks.
Pair those with a protein shake, and at least I have something ready when I don't have time for a full meal.
And thankfully, dinners are already prepped for the week.
One less thing to worry about!
Finding a New Normal
I wish I could say that after five weeks, I've found the perfect routine.
I haven't.
Some days I feel like I'm finally getting things figured out.
Other days, I feel like I'm barely keeping my head above water.
And I know I'm not the only mom who feels this way.
Whether you're working outside the home, homeschooling, caregiving, running a business, or doing some combination of all of those things, it's so easy to put yourself last.
There's always someone who needs something.
Always another load of laundry.
Another appointment.
Another meal to make.
Another email to answer.
And before you know it, the day is over and you realize you haven't done much of anything to take care of yourself.
I don't want that to become my new normal.
I've worked too hard on my health journey to let it slip away simply because my schedule changed.
But I also know that the routines that worked when I was home all day may not work anymore.
And that's okay.
I need to find new ones.
Giving Myself a Little Grace
Maybe that's the lesson in all of this.
Sometimes taking care of yourself looks like a beautiful homemade breakfast, a workout, and a perfectly planned day.
And sometimes it looks like eating a muffin in the car, drinking a protein shake between tutoring appointments, and being thankful that dinner is already in the refrigerator.
Both count.
I'm not giving up on my health goals.
I'm just learning how to make them work in a completely different season of life.
And I'm reminding myself that I deserve the same time, care, and attention I so willingly give everyone else.
So here's to a new week, some prepared breakfasts, a bag full of snacks, and hopefully getting a little closer to my nutrition goals.
One meal, one day, and one adjustment at a time.
Because taking care of myself isn't one more thing on my to-do list. It's what helps me keep doing all the other things.
And I'm learning that there's grace in figuring it out as I go.
Jennifer