Hot Flashes & Hallelujahs: The Things No One Warned Me About

Perimenopause.

A word I hadn't really heard before and knew very little about—until I got completely sidelined by it.

I was caught off guard. Honestly, I was confused.

I didn't understand what was happening to my body, my mind, or even my personality.

But let me backtrack a little.

I'm a homeschool mom of six. I've spent the last ten years as a full-time caregiver to my three daughters. I've run small businesses from home, written curriculum, taught homeschool classes, cooked from scratch, volunteered countless hours at church, and was usually the first person to say yes when someone needed help.

Our house was deep cleaned every week.

I DIY'd gifts.

We had themed movie nights with themed food and full decorations.

I threw over-the-top birthday parties every year.

Whatever I did, I did all the way. There wasn't much halfway about me.

You could definitely say I was an over-the-top mom.

And I loved it.

Then Something Started to Change

About three years ago, I noticed myself slowing down.

It's okay. I'm just tired from caregiving.

Then I started forgetting things—normal things. Suddenly I needed lists just to get through my day.

I'm overwhelmed. That's all.

I became more irritable.

I'm stressed.

I was exhausted.

Of course I'm exhausted. Look at my life.

There was always an explanation.

And because there was always an explanation, I ignored—or excused—what was happening.

Until I couldn't anymore.

I Didn't Recognize Myself

About 18 months ago, I decided I needed to do something.

I started strength training.

I increased my protein.

I worked on supporting my liver.

I became more intentional about what I ate.

I tried to prioritize sleep.

I was doing so many of the things we're told we're supposed to do.

But I still felt like I was spiraling out of control.

And one of the hardest parts wasn't even physical.

I would look in the mirror and not recognize the woman looking back at me.

Worse than that?

I didn't really like her.

Where was the woman who could juggle six kids, homeschooling, businesses, caregiving, church, a clean house, homemade meals and elaborate birthday parties?

Where did she go?

I didn't understand that my body was changing.

Finally, Some Answers

Eventually, we did a comprehensive hormone panel.

The results shocked me.

My female hormones were extremely low, while my cortisol was high.

I followed the hormone testing with additional labs, and slowly the pieces began coming together.

For the first time, I could see that there were physiological reasons I was feeling the way I was feeling.

I wasn't simply "not trying hard enough."

My body was going through a major transition—and I knew almost nothing about it.

That realization sent me down a rabbit hole.

Why Did No One Warn Us About This?

That's the question I kept asking.

Why didn't anyone tell me perimenopause could affect so much?

Why didn't we talk about this when we were younger?

Why did I know what a hot flash was but know almost nothing about all the other changes that can happen during the years leading up to menopause?

I've spent much of this past year trying to learn everything I can.

Partly for myself.

But also for my daughters.

For my nieces.

For my friends.

And, quite frankly, for any woman who will listen.

Because I don't want another woman to be blindsided by this season and wonder what in the world happened to the person she used to be.

That's Why Hot Flashes & Hallelujahs Exists

This isn't a blog written by someone who has perimenopause all figured out.

I'm living it right alongside you.

I'm going to share what I'm learning, what I'm trying, what's helping me, what isn't, and the things I wish someone had told me before I got here.

We'll talk about hormones, sleep, food, strength training, stress, brain fog, changing bodies, emotions, and all of the other things that seem to come along for this crazy ride.

I'll share the struggles.

I'll share the wins.

I'll share the research I'm learning from.

And we'll probably laugh at some of it too, because sometimes you either laugh or cry—and there have certainly been days I've done both.

Most importantly, I want this to be a place of encouragement.

Because perimenopause may change us, but I don't believe that means the best parts of us are gone.

Maybe we're learning who we're going to be in this next season.

And maybe there's some beauty in that too.

So, welcome to Hot Flashes & Hallelujahs.

If you're already in the middle of perimenopause, I'm glad you're here.

If you're approaching it, I hope you'll learn some of the things I wish I'd known.

And if you know another woman who's struggling and wondering, What is happening to me?—send her our way.

She deserves to know she's not the only one figuring this out.

We're going to learn together, laugh together, encourage one another, and give ourselves a whole lot of grace along the way.

Because apparently nobody warned us about perimenopause.

So let's start talking about it.